- define the behaviour really clearly
- work on baby steps
- add some reminders to improve your chances of success
- select smart rewards
If you have a Pinterest account, I’ve collected some examples of DOs and DON’Ts to compare: Reward Charts Pros and Cons
I started writing about this last week, then got very excited and decided to devote a whole week to it. I’ll go through all the details here:
Step 1: Defining the behaviour
Simple? Yes, sort of. You will know if it’s the right behaviour if you can answer YES to all these questions:
-Is this behaviour something you can see/hear? For example, I can hear my child saying “Thank you” but I can’t hear if he is actually grateful.
-Is this behaviour something with a clear beginning and a definite end? For example, I will have an easier time rewarding my child for “playing peacefully with his brother” if I have a time limit, e.g., “5 minutes” or a start time, e.g., “finish homework before 7:30 pm.”
-Is this behaviour achievable? If it’s a bit out of your child’s usual range, that’s ok, stay tuned. Just make sure you’re taking age, history and development into account, so we are working toward something that is reasonable.
Tips and examples:
Step 2: Shape the Behaviour
What’s shaping? Baby steps.
When we learn to walk, we start taking steps while hanging out to a loved one, and those steps are wobbly. Gradually, we learn to walk more steadily and more independently.
If you have picked a behaviour that’s challenging, you may want to break it down into smaller pieces, or try an easier version first.
Here are a few ways to shape a behaviour so that evolves into the version you want to see!
Duration: Sometimes we want a behaviour to last longer. Start by rewarding short snippets, then gradually stretch it out. This also works for behaviours that take too long (shape in the opposite direction.)
Intensity: How hard is too hard? If you want to reward “staying calm” and you’re starting out with stomping and yelling, you might settle for just complaining, and eventually work your way to mild grumbling.
Independence: When we are in the habit of helping, it’s hard to go cold turkey. Look for ways to help that are gradually less involved, e.g., lay out the t-shirt, help the child pull head through, but then allow her to put her arms in by herself.
Tips and examples:
Step 3: Prompt the behaviour
What’s a prompt? It’s something pro-active you do that helps to guarantee success.
Here are three different prompts you can try:
Visuals! Sometimes the reward chart is a great visual on its own. Create something colourful so you can keep it in view for a quick reminder
Verbal reminders! This doesn’t have to be nagging. Try planning something with your child, like a silly reminder word, or a phrase like “remember the chart!” We don’t want to use reminders forever, but it’s a way to get started. We will get rid of them later, I promise!
Environmental! Sometimes a few tweaks can make everything easier. If my bag is by the door, I’ll remember to take it. If the cups are within easy reach, the kids will be more likely to serve themselves. Can you set up the room to increase your odds of success?
Step 4: Choose a reward!
So, how do you pick a reward? Here are some DOs and a DON’Ts:
-Do pick something modest (I’ve seen great results from a single Skittle candy! It’s much easier to increase the reward than to decrease!)
-Do pick something you can deliver frequently (it’s nicer to encourage with little treats than to wait endlessly for one big pay-off)
-Don’t choose something too powerful. You may see unnecessary frustration and tantrums if the reward chart takes longer than expected.
Step 5: Fading the reward
Once you start rewarding a behaviour, you will probably want to stop after a while. This is a normal part of the learning experience. Once a new skill becomes more of a habit, we don’t need to throw a parade anymore.
Here are some tips to help you with your exit strategy:
–Include a visual! If your child can see a finite number of rewards, that will help!
-Consider a gradual fade-out, with an increased number of responses between rewards. I made one for you to try (below.)
Also, bsi21 just published a great article on how to scale back on your reminders: http://www.bsci21.org/prompt-fading-for-parents/
p.s. behaviourists call this process “thinning” but you can learn the techniques without using the jargon
You made it all the way to the end of this massive post!
If you want some examples, I’ve gathered some to inspire you! Recommended Reward Charts
If you want a quick walkthrough to refresh your memory and save for later, here’s one last video that’s basically a mega-cheatsheet to help you design and create your own:
I hope you have found this helpful! I’d love to see your charts and hear how it goes!
Please share this post if you know someone who could use it!