Good verbal skills, interested in a variety of types of independent play, gets along pretty well with other children until suddenly, he doesn’t. Sound familiar? Toys flying against the wall, projects ripped up, other children running for cover.
Many parents and teachers have not heard of the phrase “executive functional skills” but they notice that their children struggle with tasks requiring patience, planning or flexible thinking.
If you want to know more about exactly how to understand and build executive functioning skills, I’d recommend the work of Dr. Russell Barkley. I read his book Taking Charge of ADHD and found it useful in identifying what sorts of tasks are likely to be challenging. (More on this book later!)
I made up this game to help a particular five-year-old client who was struggling with how to respond to frustration. He would just explode, cry, or give up in despair. His language skills were a little behind, but I also noticed that when we talked about hypothetical situations, he was not able to come up with potential solutions.
For example:
Me: “Here’s a picture of two kids fighting. They both want the same teddy bear. What should they do?”
Kid: “Buy a new teddy bear.”
Me: “What if we didn’t have the money.”
Kid: “Just get the money, and buy one.”
I decided to look for a menu of good choices for him to choose from, instead of asking him to come up with his own. This choice wheel is an appealing, visually helpful tool you might try. Thanks to Funtastic Early Childhood Ideas for posting it.
For this game, I used another visual which was just the right size and shape, laminated and cut into squares. (You can find a similar one here, for a mere $3. Not an affiliate link, just a great visual resource.)
The problem solving strategies include:
STOP, ignore, ask for help, share, wait, leave, play with someone new, say how you feel, take turns.
I borrowed a couple of foam die (like these, lightweight and about 2 inches across) from anot
her teacher, and used tape to attach these laminated images to all six sides of both die.
Then I grabbed some popsicle sticks (a.k.a. “craft sticks”) and a plastic cup to keep them in. I tested them and found they were quite easy to write on with a pencil or pen, so I took a handful and wrote some little scenarios for our game.
For example, I wrote “TOY BROKEN”, “iPAD TIME OVER”, and “MEAN FRIEND” to start with. These sticks represented our “Sticky Situations” in need of a solution. As you play together, and you see some frustrating situations arise, write them on your sticks to talk about later. Ask your learner for suggestions regarding bothersome situations.
You might like to use a variety of colours to represent different kinds of problems, or different levels of difficulty.
TO PLAY:
- Select a “Sticky Situation” from the cup, and read it aloud together.
- Roll both die, and read the two suggested solutions.
- Your learner can either select a solution, or roll again if neither makes sense. Here’s your teaching opportunity, as you discuss which strategies work best, and which do not work at all.
- If your child is fidgety or not very talkative, keep the discussion short, and try role playing instead. Children often love watching adults misbehave, so don’t be shy about showing what *doesn’t* work!
WHY IT WORKS:
Problem-solving requires flexible thinking, negotiation, and perspective-taking.
For children with difficulties with executive functioning, these abilities are suppressed when he or she is in a heightened emotional state. Your child can’t think of these things on the spot, but RECALL is easier than IMPROVISATION, and you can practice together to build fluency, and set them up for success the next time you are in a Sticky Situation.
Good luck and have fun!