For parents looking to understand the “why” of problem behaviour, the internet is bursting with sources promising “One Simple Phrase” or “50 Easy Ways” to help solve those problems. Why, then, do so many families continue to struggle with tough behaviour problems?
Here’s my theory: it’s very hard to solve a problem if you don’t know what the problem is. If you can’t describe it and you don’t know when it’s happening, how can you find the solution? Most importantly, how can you decide which solution is best, if you don’t know WHY the problem is happening?
Last week, I shared the first step in a process you can use tackle big behaviour messes. I’m back this week to take you a little further. If you haven’t read last week’s article, or you haven’t start with those action points, jump back here, and follow those steps, then join me here and we will rock this.
This is how behaviour analysis works:
We start by describing what the problem looks like, and looking at when it’s happening and how often.
Once this is complete, we can take the next step: asking WHY? What’s going on here, and what’s the pay-off? If we can truly understand WHY the behaviour is happening, then we can choose the right approach to dealing with it.
…
Ready? Ok, let’s go.
You’ve described what you are fed up with.
You have measured it, and you know exactly when/where/who and possibly how it’s happening.
Now you’re ready to try to answer the last WH question:
WHY?
In behaviour science, we have a particular way of looking at the WHY question. We call it looking for the “function” of the behaviour. This means searching for what benefit the behaviour might deliver. In other words, what’s the pay off? Behaviourists look for clues by examining what happens before and after the behaviour in question.
Here are the four main functions we look for:
Escape
Does the behaviour deliver relief? Does it avoid a difficult or annoying situation?
What was happening right before, and did it stop after you saw the difficult behaviour?
Examples:
- You ask your child to clean her room. She teaches herself to play solo checkers instead.
- Your youngest son approaches his brother’s toys. The older child barks and growls until his brother scurries away.
- You serve peas with dinner. By the end of the meal, your child has flicked each pea off the plate.
Tangible
Does the behaviour result in treats?
What was available to the child before, and what was available afterwards?
Examples:
- It’s grocery day. The kids literally scream for ice cream. You add it to the list.
- Your youngest follows his older brother around begging for a chance to play with his Ninja Turtle. He gets a Transformer as a consolation prize.
- It’s that time of the afternoon when the kids seem to be climbing the walls. You announce that it’s snack time.
Attention
Does the behaviour deliver more interaction with others?
What attention was offered to the child before and after?
- It’s dinner time, and you ask your spouse about his day. Suddenly, you hear “I DON’T WANT TO EAT THIS.” You deliver a heartfelt message on the importance of magnesium, and your child agrees to eat just one bite.
- It’s bedtime. You are ready to close the door, but your children have Important Questions on the existence of koalas, the position of their pillows, and collecting trash in the neighbourhood together after midnight (this last one actually happened to me.) You try to answer in as few words as possible.
- The phone rings. You answer it. (Enough said.)
Sensory
Does the behaviour happen in a lot of different situations, no matter who is paying attention?
This is one of the hardest functions to figure out, and also one of the hardest to address.
- Your child has decided to wear only long sleeves, long pants, and a very specific kind of sock. No amount of bribery, attention or ignoring seems to help.
- Thumb-sucking or nail-biting happens on a regular basis, even more frequently when the child is alone.
- You notice your child humming, whistling, tapping or clicking throughout the day. You ask your child to stop, but it doesn’t make much difference.
As I said in Part 1, this isn’t a behaviour strategy… not yet, anyway. It’s just a way of understanding what’s happening.
There are many subtle variations on these functions, and sometimes a behaviour may appear to be motivated by one, and turn out to be related to something else. There may be a learning history, habits or patterns that have a strong impact on behaviour too.
Always keep in mind that physical health, overall development, and mental health will factor in, so invite your doctor to be part of the conversation, and consider consulting a psychologist if you are worried about your child’s emotional well-being.
If you can get a good idea of what the function of the behaviour is, you can choose a strategy that matches. If you find the pay-off, you can teach the child to meet that need in a healthier way.
That’s the heart of behaviour analysis:
- There’s a logic and a pattern to our behaviour
- We act based on our needs and wants
- We respond to our internal and external environments
- We can learn new ways of satisfying those needs and wants
- We can have a meaningful impact on behaviour if we understand it
It’s important to me to share this with you, because there are a lot of ready-made solutions out there to try, but it’s hard to be successful and match the right solution to the problem until you really understand what the problem is.
If you’ve come this far, well done! I’m dedicated to writing and sharing in order to support you on this journey.
If you want to share your thoughts and ask your questions in a small group, my Facebook group is currently accepting new members:
If you are struggling with serious challenging behaviour at home, and you need someone to simplify this process so you can skip ahead to the solution, I am accepting new behaviour consult clients at this time.
Click here to choose a time that’s convenient for you, ask all your behaviour questions, and start getting answers!